Ok, so I haven’t been blogging that much of late. But, it’s not because I don’t totally love all you readers and have plenty of super rad stuff to say. The problem is simple: I have been extremely busy with tons of real life stuff away from the interwebs. Like… Continue Reading “What’s Going On.”→
While living in a peanut-filled world, it’s necessary for the legume-intolerant to travel through life with their guard constantly up. After 24 long years on this planet—a world infested with enemy food stuffs around every corner—it’s a lesson I should never forget to heed as I preach it on the interwebs. Sadly, I was duped into dropping my guard this weekend by a little restaurant called Golden China. With their advertised aversion to MSG and a promise their food is cooked in nothing but 100 percent pure vegetable oil, I felt safer than I normally do when venturing into the domain of Asian entrees—it seemed they understood the benefit of proper food preparation. My sesame chicken was flawless, arranged nicely in its take-out container so I could plainly see it hadn’t been infected with legumes. And I grew even more comforted.
Even more vulnerable.
And so, Golden China got the last laugh.
After comforting me with their careful cooking promises and a well-displayed dinner, I felt no qualms about partaking in some eggroll (free with the coupon they supplied me in their take-out menu). Inspection of the eggroll led me to believe it was filled with nothing but cabbage. Alas, it was filled with more deadly fare! After two quick bites, I knew something was amiss. Be it a hidden peanut in the roll or a tainted instrument used in its preparation, the appetizer packed a wallop that landed me in the emergency room.
The moral of this story: Stay vigilant. Or, never trust an eggroll—who knows what it hides inside under its friendly fried exterior?!
While sorting through a bunch of papers—searching for receipts and other tax nonsense after my recent move to New Jersey—I came across a Valentine I received from my lovely girlfriend Jessi.
I’d say this is easily the best greeting card I have ever received, because the premise is so ludicrous, but then I looked closer and remembered the stunning (and possibly prognosticatory) addition made by Jessi back in February (almost a month before this blog’s historic launch).
Further verification that my sworn enmity against legumes predates this blog, as well as verification I have a really swell girl!
Why is Easter so great? As this post’s title may have given away, it isn’t the bunnies but the edible decorations that made my Easter this year!
After coloring a dozen eggs with my lovely girlfriend Jessi on Saturday, I got a chance to utilize my mad deli skills making a little egg salad for some—as I’ve dubbed them—Easter Egg Salad Sammiches!
(For the record, I did work in a deli one summer back in college, and at a sandwich joint for about a year and a half after that where we made all the chicken, tuna and seafood salad in house.)
I’m a big fan of mayo-based mushes used to make sandwiches, so egg salad is always high on my list of lunch options. That said, I’ve tasted my fair share and can safely say that the concoction I free-styled in the kitchen today may have been the best egg salad I’ve ever had. Tooting my own horn? A bit. But seriously, this egg salad was darn good—so good, I’ve decided to share the recipe here…
-Roughly 12 hard boiled eggs
-4 heaping spoonfuls of Miracle Whip Lite
-A small squirt of creamy horseradish
-3 large spoonfuls of lemon juice
-A few generous dashes of salt and pepper (maybe a tsp and a half for recipe sticklers)
-Twice that dash-age of paprika (maybe a tbsp, when all is said and done)
-A generous portion of cilantro (1/2 cup, methinks)
-Some diced onions, red peppers and green peppers—about a 1/2 to 2/3 cup—leftover from nachos the nite before (Note: diced veggies don’t NEED to be from nacho nite, but I’d recommend it…at least for the nachos)
Now, to prepare, chop those eggs up and put them in a large-ish bowl with the diced veggies and cilantro. Dash about 1/4 of your paprika on top of them.
In another, smaller bowl, mix the Miracle Whip lemon juice, salt, pepper and paprika together.
Combine the contents of the two bowls!
Mix until the egg bowl’s contents are generously coated in the Mayo bowl’s contents.
Then, serve on some delicious, toasted (in a toaster) marble rye and enjoy!
If you use this rad recipe, make sure props are given to Jim Gibbons and those who partake in your egg-cellent meal are sent to www.EnemyOfPeanuts.com straightaway!