Mustache Blast from the Past

I’m as hirsute as a man can be. No secret there. However, many of you may have wondered how I came to be so hairy, especially on and around my face. Was it exposure to gamma radiation that made my handsome mug sprout a forest of whiskers? Perhaps I was a scrawny young man with cheeks as smooth as a baby’s bottom until Dr. Erskine injected me with some sort of super shaggy formula. While I can’t confirm or deny these theories—doing so would put countless lives in danger—I can verify that I come from a proud mustache tradition. In fact, a mustache was present at the union of my parents!
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