While living in a peanut-filled world, it’s necessary for the legume-intolerant to travel through life with their guard constantly up. After 24 long years on this planet—a world infested with enemy food stuffs around every corner—it’s a lesson I should never forget to heed as I preach it on the interwebs. Sadly, I was duped into dropping my guard this weekend by a little restaurant called Golden China. With their advertised aversion to MSG and a promise their food is cooked in nothing but 100 percent pure vegetable oil, I felt safer than I normally do when venturing into the domain of Asian entrees—it seemed they understood the benefit of proper food preparation. My sesame chicken was flawless, arranged nicely in its take-out container so I could plainly see it hadn’t been infected with legumes. And I grew even more comforted.
Even more vulnerable.
And so, Golden China got the last laugh.
After comforting me with their careful cooking promises and a well-displayed dinner, I felt no qualms about partaking in some eggroll (free with the coupon they supplied me in their take-out menu). Inspection of the eggroll led me to believe it was filled with nothing but cabbage. Alas, it was filled with more deadly fare! After two quick bites, I knew something was amiss. Be it a hidden peanut in the roll or a tainted instrument used in its preparation, the appetizer packed a wallop that landed me in the emergency room.
The moral of this story: Stay vigilant. Or, never trust an eggroll—who knows what it hides inside under its friendly fried exterior?!